British OK! posted a charming little item earlier today.

“Robert Pattinson ‘to wed’ Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart,” reads the headline.

Wait, what?

“Robert Pattinson may soon get down on one knee and propose” to Stewart, claims OK!, citing “reports.”

Uh huh. Details, please?

The couple “are said to keep their romance alive despite busy schedules through constant communication,” continues the tab.

What does this have to do with getting married?

Pattinson recently revealed he was “thinking about buying a home,” reports OK!, adding that he’s been “afraid to invest in case he ran out of work.”

What… does this… have to do… with getting married?

The actor is “clearly considering his future,” explains the magazine. “And if the rumours are right (sic) lucky Kristen could be a big part of it.”

Um, where’s the rest of this article?

The part that explains where the engagement rumors are supposedly being “reported.” The part that gives some indication of a timetable and mentions when and where the engagement could happen. The part that bothers to quote a so-called “insider” or offers even a single lame “detail”?

That part is missing entirely.

“We are very jealous,” OK! says of Stewart, concluding abruptly.

Gossip Cop is jealous, too.

Jealous of sites that go to sleep while we’re up day and night having to fact-check and bust their bad dish.